2nd pregnancy test result

I had my 2nd second pregnancy test on Wednesday to make sure my levels were going the right direction. Well, I was in the 1800's, so everything was great. We an ultrasound on Sept. 28th. The nurse even said that we will find out how many...this time she talked about a possibility of twins! My husband and I would love to have twins. We know that this means a ton more work, but we will have 2 tons more joy and excitement. If only 1 stuck, that would be absolutely wonderful too. My husband and I are just so excited that we finally are pregnant. It has been too many years of trying to explain to everyone why there are no children yet. Those people that get pregnant right away never seem to understand. The ones that do know and understand what we have been through cried when we told them we were pregnant. My work is such a loving family environment, and they all were so happy for us. They had more tears of joy they we did.

I am feeling a lot better after the 2nd test result, but don't know if I will truely feel like I am going to have a baby until it comes. I keep waiting for someone to say, "Oh wait, sorry, you're not really pregnant." I haven't even been feeling "pregnant", except for the extreme tiredness, which I don't know whether to blame on the first week of all day kindergarten or pregnancy. Part of me wishes I would feel lots of nausea and other signs. I know my mom didn't feel bad at all during her pregnancies, so maybe I am just following in her footsteps. Does that type of thing run in families? I probably will be eating my words later wishing for nausea, but silly as it seems, I think it would actually make me feel better!

And the results are...

We're pregnant! It is so hard to say that after so long. The nurse said that I still need to come in for more testing to make sure everything is increasing on my bloodwork. My husband and I have told many people already...so we really hope it continues! I think I am more scared then before the pregnancy test. All these what if's keep running through my mind.

My number was 200something and she said that anything above 20 is positive! I asked if that meant that there could be twins and she said no, it just means you are pregnant. I guess we will find out more later about those details.

I had to call my hubby since he is out of town right now. It was awesome to hear his response. He kept asking are you kidding - over and over again. Then immediately after that he said I love you with so much happiness in his voice. It definately wasn't how we imagined we would be telling each other, but definately something very special anyway!

Keep your fingers crossed that the numbers increase!

Distractions

I am glad for the distractions. Having a three day weekend was very nice. My hubby and I sat around and just watched the 1st season of Heroes (some of it anyway). This long weekend went by slow enough to enjoy it, but not terribly slow that all I was doing was thinking about PB & J inside of me. I will be starting back at work tomorrow - although I don't officially have to be there until Wed. If I don't go tomorrow, then there is no way I will be ready for the new school year. But it conveniently creates more distractions for me. This is seems as though this try was the best when it came to timing. I know that things don't always work as planned during this whole cycle thing...I guess we were just lucky. Hopefully that luck is sticking (quite literally). Friday seems like a long time from now, but I know that it will come sooner rather than later...

As for any type of signs that I am feeling...I am extremely tired (is that just me being be or is it a true sign that more is happening). Also, I do have a headache which came on last night and has lasted all day. I tend to get headaches around the time of the visit from the aunt. Hopefully that is not what that means. There is just so much that every little thing can mean. It's hard to determine what's what...

Last day - Woohoo!

Today is my last day of bed rest. Thank God! I can't wait to take a shower and walk around a bit. I am still going to take it really easy tomorrow, don't want to knock anything loose!

I have nicknamed my blasts peanut butter and jelly. I was thinking of two things that would stick and go together. Also, it is my hubby's favorite song (if you can call it that) from one of his favorite adult cartoon shows. My hubby thinks I am crazy...but I think it helps him identify with everything that is going on a bit more.

My hubby seems to be losing patience with me not being able to move. I think a lot of it he is bringing home from work, as there is a lot of stuff going on there. I hope he doesn't act this way when we finally have a baby!

bedrest...not all it's cracked up to be

Well, my blast transfer was yesterday. I am hoping that all goes well, and at least 1 of the 2 stick. My hubby and I would be very happy with twins. We were told that we would only have 2 more blasts to freeze, but I got a call today and my nurse said they were freezing 6! It's great to know that there will be other chances for thr future if for some reason this doen't take, or even if we want to give these kids (the ones put in yesterday) a brother or sister in the future.

The bedrest is not at all tht woderful...my body hurts from laying here all day and night. I get excited that I get to get up to go to the bathroom. Thank goodness for wireless internet and laptops, TIVO's, and the wide selection of magazines that are out there in the world. Also, cordless phones are great too. Of course, the toilet that I am using is having an issue - it keeps running all day long. Since my hubby is challenged by tasks like that, it will be left until I am able to fix it.

I am just waiting now...waiting and waiting and waiting...Sept. 7th feels like a long time off

Waiting...

We went to the doctors today to see if we would have the transfer, but the doctor wanted us to wait until Tuesday (Day 5) to do the transfer. Right now we have 4 A's, 1 A-, 1 B+, and a few others that the doctor didn't mention. They gave us a picture of the embryos and I just kept staring at it. It is a little strange that those blobs could be our possible children. My hubby asked if we should get it framed. I don't want to put the cart in front of the horse, because if it doesn't work, I surely don't want to stare at those embryos...

The nurse called...

The wonderful nurse called yesterday and said that out of the 24 eggs, 16 were mature, and 13 were fertilized and growing normally. We go in tomorrow morning to possibly do an ET. I am guessing that the doctor will look at how well they are growing and developing before he decides. It is so neat to know that I will have some possible babies inside of me tomorrow or Tuesday! I can't wait for tomorrow to find out all the details. Being a newbie at this, I have so many questions that I keep asking the doctor and nurse. There are definitely a few questions that I many people have asked that I have no idea what the answer is and am now curious to find out the answer.

On a side note, those progesterone shots and suppositories aren't making me feel so wonderful. I will be happy when my body will start producing them on it's own...maybe I would feel a little better then!

Lots of eggs

I had my ER today. 24 eggs found! WOW! I know that they won't all be usable, but that number is great! I had a lot of pain with the process and woke up almost in tears. Now it is better, but I am still moving very slowly and feeling some pain. The problem is with my husbands spermies. None of the 6 vials that they had frozen or the 2 fresh samples are usable. Now my DH has to go through another extraction. That means both of us will be moving really slowly for the next couple of days. Think happy thoughts for us...we need the urologist to find what is needed!

What's going on?

OK...so I left the doctor's office this afternoon and everything was great! The doctor was pleased with my egg count and the lining of the uterus. Then later I got an email from the nurse giving my estradiol level but nothing to compare it to. Also, the Doctor wants me to come in to have another blood test done, but that wasn't in the plans. The nurse said "no worries." But I do not like "no worries." I do not like it at all. When doctors or nurses say "no worries," it makes me extremely worried for some reason. If there isn't a problem, why do I have to have extra blood tests completed? I need to know now if there is a possibility of the cycle having to be cancelled. I don't like surprises...no worries...sure.

Looking good...

Today I went to the Dr.'s for an ultrasound. The doctors found approximately 14 eggs total, which is great! I couldn't sleep last night because I was worried they would say something is going right. My hubby said not to worry, or as he said - it's not you I'm worried about, you're fine...it's me that concerns me. I just want to have enough eggs to make sure there are some viable embryos at the end. I, too, am concerned about what will happen when the spermies are eventually inserted. Will they end up doing what they are supposed to do??? That thought is just going to go to the very back of my mind, and right now I am going to enjoy the good news that we have so far.

Shots, shots, and more shots

I am terrified of needles and HATE having any type of blood work done. I usually leave the place quietly with tears in my eyes and a tear or two rolling down my cheek. I know this sounds silly, but it is what it is. Knowing this, when I was told I had to start Lupron shots on the 2nd, I was not too excited. What was even worse was that I would be on a cruise a few days after I started the shots. I have to admit, the shots were not terrible. One day I think I worked myself up and almost had a panic attack (my shirt was covered in sweat in about 5 seconds), but otherwise they really haven't been too bad. Maybe it helps that every time I give myself the shot I say "BABY" in head. I think it helps to remind what is really important. On the 12th, I had to start giving myself more shots at night also. Those two aren't as friendly to me, and my stomach has the marks to show it. Luckily my hubby is home at that time, and he lets me complain all I want about how much the shots suck! That always seems to make me feel a little better. At my doctor's appointment tomorrow, I am sure they will tell me about the new meds that I will need to start poking myself with, so maybe I should just enjoy today knowing that I only had to do 3 shots!

I am getting excited about the upcoming retrieval. It will be coming before I even know it. I am not the type of person to hide things about myself, and many people know what my hubby and I are going through. I told many of my friends and family that we have started the treatment, and they all seem so excited for us. But there is this voice in the back of my mind that keeps saying, "Don't tell them...they will just be disappointed in the end" - or even "think of all the people you will have to tell IF it doesn't work." I have to keep this voice down. I think that there is a big difference between thinking it and believing it. I KNOW I HAVE TO think it; we all have to protect ourselves at times, so we don't get so let down if something bad does happen. But we don't have to believe it. I BELIEVE I will end in with pregnancy after this trial...I surely don't want to have to go through all those shots on another round!

Loving Summer

I love summer vacation. I am a teacher and thoroughly love the time that I have off. I love that I can go have lunch with my hubby any time I want. I love the late night swims with my husband in the pool. Even the movie selections seem to be better during the summer. My husband and I seem to use the summer to sneak off to a vacation spot, if only for a few days. I always feel so much closer to my husband during the summer, without the stress of work and everything else above my head. Nothing is better than the summer!

Happy 4th of July

My husband and I decided to take it easy this 4th of July. I don't think people (even family) realize how hard it is to be around all these families having fun with their children. It's not that we want to be away from family during all the festivities, it's just sometimes it makes it so difficult emotionally. Holidays seem to be the most difficult for us. I can't wait for the day that I have my own family and don't have to worry about it. Anyways, Happy 4th of July to everyone!

I created this blog to get out all my emotions about how infertility can affect someone's life. My husband and I are infertile and it truly sucks. I wish we could be like so many others who can get pregnant all on their own. I know there is a time for everyone. I just wish it was ours.