Shots, shots, and more shots

I am terrified of needles and HATE having any type of blood work done. I usually leave the place quietly with tears in my eyes and a tear or two rolling down my cheek. I know this sounds silly, but it is what it is. Knowing this, when I was told I had to start Lupron shots on the 2nd, I was not too excited. What was even worse was that I would be on a cruise a few days after I started the shots. I have to admit, the shots were not terrible. One day I think I worked myself up and almost had a panic attack (my shirt was covered in sweat in about 5 seconds), but otherwise they really haven't been too bad. Maybe it helps that every time I give myself the shot I say "BABY" in head. I think it helps to remind what is really important. On the 12th, I had to start giving myself more shots at night also. Those two aren't as friendly to me, and my stomach has the marks to show it. Luckily my hubby is home at that time, and he lets me complain all I want about how much the shots suck! That always seems to make me feel a little better. At my doctor's appointment tomorrow, I am sure they will tell me about the new meds that I will need to start poking myself with, so maybe I should just enjoy today knowing that I only had to do 3 shots!

I am getting excited about the upcoming retrieval. It will be coming before I even know it. I am not the type of person to hide things about myself, and many people know what my hubby and I are going through. I told many of my friends and family that we have started the treatment, and they all seem so excited for us. But there is this voice in the back of my mind that keeps saying, "Don't tell them...they will just be disappointed in the end" - or even "think of all the people you will have to tell IF it doesn't work." I have to keep this voice down. I think that there is a big difference between thinking it and believing it. I KNOW I HAVE TO think it; we all have to protect ourselves at times, so we don't get so let down if something bad does happen. But we don't have to believe it. I BELIEVE I will end in with pregnancy after this trial...I surely don't want to have to go through all those shots on another round!